So this is a question I was asked about a million times before moving to Sweden, and let’s be honest often with a negative undertone. Lately, I have been asking this myself… a lot.
Why did I move to Sweden? Why did I move away from all my favourite people in the world? Why did I leave the comfort of home?
The last weeks were a bit of a struggle: course work keeps piling up, then I felt slightly homesick and to top it off it snowed this week. Yes, snow in May! It would be quite ridiculous if I wouldn’t need to bike to uni. Not to say, that there was nothing cool happening in the last weeks. I went to Gotland and while this trip really did not turn out the way I planned, it was amazingly beautiful. Last week, before the weather turned crazy, I spent another awesome day by the sea.
So, no, I don’t dislike being here and I still don’t regret being here. It is simply that sometimes I was not so sure why I was doing this.
Until a couple of days ago, when I biked through the city, the first flowers and leaves waving at me, it hit me: I am doing this for me!
Simple as that! I had this dream, since my time on Erasmus in my favourite Umeå, to move to Sweden. To throw myself into a new environment, meet new people from all over the world, live in another country, learn a new language and to do this on my own… for me!
There a million different reasons why people move abroad. All my friends here have their own reasons; often it’s a combination of several. For me it is the same! I could tell you so many reasons. They are all true and then, they are not. Maybe, all the reasons are just justifications for my dream.
In just a year’s time I will be graduating from university and during the past weeks I was thinking a lot about that. What will I do after that? What are my dreams? What am I passionate about?
Some days, I felt like I don’t have any dreams at all. Other days, curiosity got the best of me and I couldn’t wait to find out what will happen.
Nonetheless, with the future approaching so quickly it feels good to know that I am actually living my dream right now. This is something I wanted to do and I did it! I followed my dream even though things sometimes feel different than you plan. That’s life! (hint: most days it doesn’t feel like “I am living my dream!” At all!)
But this here is my dream! This here is my time for me. So it is up to me to make the best out of it… the best by my definition. If this involves reading 25 books since January, it is ok. If this involves spending a little bit more time exploring Sweden than would be healthy for my studies, it is still ok. I don’t have to follow anyone else’s dreams. It just has to feel good for me.
And why am I writing this down? Because I keep on forgetting this!
I knew it in my first days after my arrival in Uppsala, but somehow time made me forget. So now I want it written down. Maybe, it will also help you. I think we should do way more things just for us, just because they feel great. So one more time:
I AM DOING THIS FOR ME!